The reason why you, my dear reader, aren't enjoying as many articles as you could right now. Also the reason why I probably have less than five followers. O_o But I digress. The thing is that by the time you get to the point where you are finished with all your work and everything is caught up and squared off, tucked away, cleaned, scrubbed and buried (don't ask) all you want to do is sit.
Now that's cool, but NOT when there's a weekend to be had. I mean, it only comes around once a week. So you sit up and you say "I will not do this to myself again, dammit!!" Affirmative action is key here and you want to get to CD Warehouse and back before Chili's closes.
But as you sit on your throne, you see the small green light of your xbox controller blinking in circles, indicating that the batteries are indeed very low. And you think "Perfect! I'll be responsible and start here by putting in new batteries." Go you. You did it, man. Now lets put on some pants and get on the move!
Wait a minute. Wesman7213 is online and he's inviting you to a Halo Reach party with JesusCooksEmAlive003 and socksmeller14. You know it will be a fun time, and hey what's one game, right? There is never one game. SO that goes on for four hours, stores are closed and your hungry and pants-less. What now? Bed? F-that. It's the weekend, son. It's time to DO WORK.
So you get in your car, your pumped and excited to see what shenanigans you can get into in these wee hours of the morning. You phone and text everyone you've ever had contact with hoping to god for some human interaction. No one answers because half of them are at home getting rest for Saturday, the best day of the weekend, and the other half are on xbox live. And your not going back to that dark place again.
After you grab some much needed IHOP rehabilitation in the form of french toast and bacon, you've decided to count your loses and collect what's left of the day and call it a night. You wake up about mid-afternoon in the most confusing haze of you entire life, hoping like hell that the time is wrong (it's not, btw). Now half of Saturday is over and your panicking. There's four text messages from you friends somewhere along the lines of "Where are you?", "This movie is AMAZING", "John Stamos was at the Olive Garden, man. It was crazy!!" and "I stole your cat. Sry, but he loves me more than you."
Great. Once again you let this drive to do nothing rob you of a legendary day with guaranteed laughter and good times with friends. Now all you have is a missing cat and leftover breakfast food. Is it even worth it to continue the day? It's getting close to nightfall and you can feel the buzz of the city, so you decide to soldier on and see what activities are going down. Off to Facebook to get the scoop and everyone's whereabouts and going-ons.
Yay! Everyone is doing something fun tonight! So and so is going to a movie, this person is hitting up a bar, that person is seeing a concert. "Hell yeah, i am going to have a GREAT time tonight!" you awkwardly exclaim to yourself out loud. You get ready to go and run through the events to see which event you wanna go to. The concert sounds exciting, but it could require standing for a long time. Going to a bar would be neat too, but you want to be entertained, not entertaining.
A movie! Sitting, eating and watching a film with friends is the obvious choice. So you make the arrangements and now it's time to pick the movie. Everyone has settled on an action flick, but your in no mood for Steve Austin. The gas is on empty, you've only got four bucks anyway, so staying home is the best option here. But if we're doing that, then we need to make this night epic.
You decide on an evening of the best junk food money can buy an a Quentin Tarantino movie marathon. And to make this all inclusive evening more epic, you decide on a taking a shot everytime you see some feet (Tarantino loves him some feet. That and trunk POV's) By the time you get to Kiil Bill Vol. 2 your shitfaced and you dont wanna pass out before Reservoir dogs.
So you get up to change the DVD and three steps away from the couch you start swaying and babbling nonsense and BAM! You awake to a sideways view of Michael Madsen's face and notice that you've landed face-first in the kitty litter. You cat has returned and is quite confused and very disappointed in what his owner has become.
It's over. You did the best that you could with your free time, and hey, wasnt that bad. (it was worse) But your in luck, because it's Sunday, the day that laziness created. Sit around and waste away for hours. Just then your phone rings, so you give it an answer only to hear your boss saying things like "It's Monday, two o'clock, where are you?" and "Swear to god you excuse better be damn good" followed with "Good news, you've made someone very happy, the temp is full time now."
No job. No money. But look on the bright side, PERMANENT WEEKEND!PERMANENT WEEKEND!
